The Sanctity of Marriage

Christian/non-Christian, I can almost guarantee that this post is not what you think. But I guess we’ll have to see…

Ask almost any Christian to define matrimony and the typical response will be “Marriage is between a walrus and a polar bear.”


But if I really have to explain to you what the church’s view on marriage is, then you must be living beneath the rock…under the rock. Really, though.

The Christian community has done quite a number of pounding their idea of marriage down America’s throat, trying to force Lady Liberty to “Taste and see that the Lord is good!” And if that’s what you like to do, fine. But the outcome is almost like feeding a baby peas… just a mess everywhere. “

“Marriage is between a man and a woman!”

Mmk, thanks. We get it. But the thing I am NOT getting is how Christians are getting all riled up against other groups defiling the “sanctity” of marriage when we’re doing a fine little job of screwing it up ourselves.

The sanctity of marriage, huh?

I’m sorry… I forgot about hearing all the ridicule against pastors joining couples that are unequally yoked. And I am sure that the Lord is pleased with our marriage defiling pre-marital relationships. Or perhaps at our habit of wedding simply because we cannot keep it in our pants any longer. No, I do not see  how anyone could view us as hypocrites. Clearly our equally high divorce rates show that we know what marriage is all about.

Except…we don’t. So I do not understand why the church is always so focused on the sin of everyone else when we have crap within our own pews that we need to fix.

Maybe if we got our own marriage ideals in order, the Lord could use our relationships as examples to the world on what His love is like. But can He even reach us? You look within the church community today and the people seem more concerned about standing on a soapbox against the immoralities of the world then using the soap in the box to get their own tubs clean. And this whole “sanctity of marriage” movement is no different.

It is great and awesome to think that the church wants to have morals concerning marriage. However, what happened to “judge not, lest ye be judged?” I really feel this little “movement” needs to move right on back inside the church. We need to study the plank in our own eye a little more before “reaching out”. Do you really want to protect the sanctity of marriage? Then show it within YOUR marriage. And if you are not married, start with YOUR relationships.

Marriage is commitment. Marriage is servanthood. Marriage is sacrifice. Marriage is not a cute Facebook status. Marriage is a LIFELONG ministry. But most of us are entering into it to gain sexual and selfish satisfaction.

Back in the day, you had to earn the rights to marriage. Men had to work for the hand of a female, and women were trained on how to be a good wife. Now all a man has to do is go online, to a bar, to a club, pick one, and put it on her. And women do not prepare to be wives any further than making wedding arrangements.

Shout out to the people doing it right. But most people are not preparing themselves for marriage anymore. They just jump into them because they are sexually frustrated or lonely and hope they survive. On top of that, we have failed to see the ministry behind it, much less put Christ in the center. And do we really wonder why marriages are failing? Most unions at the altar are not “marriages”. They are lustful links and expressions of selfish sanctification. The Lord does not look at that and say “It is good.” That is not at all what the Lord desires.

“The Lord isn’t pleased with gay marriage!” Well sorry to break it to you, but the Lord is not pleased with a lot of male/female marriages either.  The church thinks that they are “technically” correct in marriage because they involve a John and a Jane. But just because your grounds downtown are different, does not mean that you should go uptown to the chapel and wed. The Lord is not pleased by the differentiation of your private parts alone. Will you sacrifice and love your spouse as Christ loved the church? THAT is what pleases the Lord.

There are great marriages that are honoring God, and that is truly a blessing and an awesome ministry. I believe that the Lord can use great marriages to make great impact. Many seem to think that rallying against gay marriage is going to cause a great revolution. And it might, sure. More power to whatever you and whatever you like to do in your free time. The Lord has the power to change hearts, and however He leads you to minister…don’t let me intrude. I am not and will not get into debates about fighting against gay marriage in comments.

I am being slightly aggressive in this post? Maybe. But this post is not to be spiteful. It is simply to encourage us to examine to marriage “sanctity”…since we seem quite radical about the subject. Do what you do. Change your profile picture to an “X”. Make little rants about how America’s system and culture is getting all corrupted. But until we realize that many of our own marriages are no more “sanctified” than a homo-sexuals binding in the Lord’s eyes …it’s kind of just a hypocritical hyperlink movement.


The First Bachelor

Nowadays, you’ve got a lot of Christian singles using the scripture “It is not good for man to be alone” as ammunition to hunt matrimony or exterminate their singleness. After all, Adam was the first bachelor and the Lord said that about him.

But what most people fail to realize is that Adam was not moping about in his single state. Adam was straight up chilling in the garden and in fellowship with the Father, not even noticing that he was without something. Then a time came when the Lord declared that it was not good for him to be alone.

Wait. Did you catch that? Adam did not decide for himself when it was time for him to get a mate. The LORD declared when it was not good for Adam to be alone.

The opposite is happening today. Single Christians are taking their own turn at determining when it is no longer fit for them to fly solo. The revving of their engines could be a result of a variety of different things. Their friends are probably all dating and getting married. In fact, some married couples will even tell you that you will feel “incomplete” or that  “something is missing” while waiting for a spouse. But I am not so sure that I agree.

Look at the story of Adam. God did not remove Adam’s rib and then make him walk around for days or years feeling inadequate or wondering where his “missing piece” was. This however is the attitude many Christian singles currently have adopted. They limp through the present unhappy and unsatisfied, moaning in agony over their “missing part”.

Hmm. Reminds me of lyrics in “Call Me Maybe” where Carly says: “before you came into my life I missed you so bad…” It does not really make any sense. The Word says that two become one flesh…meaning, they must have been separate. Many are claiming however to already be missing the union before they have it.

If you want to believe that that is why you are unhappy, go ahead. In an honest examination of yourself, you will discover that feeling discontented in your single state it is not because you need another woman or man. It is probably because you are not being that intimate with The Great I Am. Just saying.

God is a good God. He did not cripple Adam or create a period of emotional suffering. God sustained Adam in his alone season. And when He felt it was time for Adam to have a mate, He made it happen in a painless fashion. You remember the story! Adam was put into a deep sleep, and the Lord did a work within him close to his heart. He removed a rib and fashioned it into a woman. When Adam woke up, he barely had time to yawn when God presented him with his missing rib on a silver platter. Enter Eve.

Which brings up another point. God very well could have created Adam and Eve on the same day. But He did not. Eve coming into Adam’s life later was not a mistake. He did not forget. He did not create all the animals with their mates then go “Oops, forgot to give Adam one! My bad bro, here you go!”  Nope. He made Adam first and had him alone for a reason. Alone, Adam got to know his duties and established his own fellowship with God. Alone, perhaps you could say, Adam became “all one” with God.

When the Lord saw that Adam needed companionship, He did not immediately give him a woman either. Instead, He gave him a task related to the responsibility he was about to receive. God formed the animals and brought them before Adam to name. Surprise, surprise…. the next day the Lord formed Eve and brought her before Adam to claim.

The Lord did not say: “This is your wife, Adam!” But Adam knew just what to do. He had exercised his authority the day before. Adam knew to call and claim her  “flesh of his flesh” and “bone of his bone”. God had prepared him for the moment. Genesis says the Lord brought the animals to Adam to “see what he would call them”. Perhaps He was helping Adam learn to identify in his little animal exercise, so that he might be able to correctly identify Eve!

Likewise, you need to be able to identify your mate or be set for their arrival. Keep God in control and He will prepare and guide you so that you don’t miss it. Stop trying to make your own arrangements. God’s way is the best way. And the easiest. The Lord orchestrated it all. He trained Adam and even brought his chick straight to his face. All Adam had to do was recognize and claim what was in front of him. So slow your roll, yo! If you jump ahead of the game and tell God when it is time to exit your season of singleness, you may miss out on His awesome arrangement.

“It is not good for man to be alone…”

True. But it is important that you do not snatch God’s word out of His mouth and apply it to your life out of order. When HE determines that it is not good for you to be alone, HE will place you in His rest and bring forth the very best for you as He did for Adam. Until then, continue to grow as an individual, doing the tasks He has asked and letting Him sustain you.